by Alix
There is a subject close to my heart that I wanted to share with you.
Sometimes, I have the feeling that to exist I have to live my life to the very last drop, even more than usual! I’m stubborn enough to believe that my days have to be overbooked without any time to rest or enjoy doing nothing.
It’s true, I’ve passed the dramatic 40 year old milestone – but to be honest with you my mind is still hovering around 23-25 years old, I swear! And it doesn’t get any better – but seriously, I increasingly need to offer myself extreme thrills: scuba diving, gliding, interaction with dolphins, skydiving, I plan in a few months to say hello to some great white sharks….
Even in my every day life, I push myself to the max!, I impose on myself too busy days, up very early every morning to excercie before starting my work day. But I really like to do all these activities and constantly push my own limits. However when I try to take a step back as I am right now with you – if someone has an idea what is possessing me – I wonder why I behave like that. Why do I feel alive only because of these shots of adrenaline. Even when I run, I push myself like crazy, I’m rarely happy with my pace and I always chase after this famous endorphin shot that is not so easy to provoke.
It’s true, I feel like time flies at breakneck speed, and maybe soon I won’t be able to have fun the same way …. And it is also true that lately I’ve really noticed this passing of time … too fast.
Hence my great need/want/bulimia to enjoy a full life and all that it offers and live 1000% in the moment, right now, immediately.
Yoga* has helped me a lot. Not that I’m very into meditation, but I’ve learned to listen to my breathing, to pair body and breath, to just listen to this body so beautiful, this so perfect living machine. To also tell to myself that we must love our body and take care of it – ok it is a bit contradictory when I said above that I just pushed to extreme this famous body … But you see what I mean? Be connected with our deep inner selves and accept ourselves as we are with our imperfections, our strengths, our good sides but especially with these faults that seems to be so huge. Learn how to love ourselves!
I think I can tell you that I love my body – even if I always bully it – I think I can also tell you that I am on my way in my personal process of acceptance of me and that I try to listen to my body. I also try to live every day as it were the last, while providing myself with a personal memory of crazy souvenirs…
To be honest I think I’m looking for myself, that’s all!
And you, do you also ask all these questions or am I totally out of my mind for good?
* Let me tell you that at the end of each yoga session, I tell to myself that I love me with all my imperfections and that makes me feel good …
Translation & Editing by Camille Boucard